With compliments to Laura Joffe Numeroff:
"If you give a quant some data, she's going to ask for storage.
When you give her the storage, she'll probably ask you for an admin tool. When she's finished, she'll ask you for a archive/restore test.
Then she'll want to have an audit prove there has been no compromise of PHI/PII/PCI data. When she looks at the audit logs,she might notice the production database doesn't have encryption. So she'll probably ask for some encryption tools.
When she's finished encrypting the production data, she'll want to verify that the data warehouse has proper encryption protocols set up. She might get carried away and encrypt all the data in the enterprise.
When she's done, she'll finally get around to running a regression. You'll have to approve cloud expenditures to be able to run the spark cluster. She'll crawl in, make herself comfortable and munge the data a few times. She'll probably ask you to tell her more context around this data. So you'll tell her how the data was collected, and she will ask to see the initial graphs of user usage.
When she looks at the pictures, she'll get so excited she'll want to make some of his own visualizations. She'll ask for a larger monitor, and an industrial plotter. She'll make the visualization. When the visualization is finished, she'll want to share it with others. After sharing it with others, and getting feedback, she will create more visualizations to demonstrate the effect of regression on the data. Then she'll want to store all these visualizations on a web-server. Which means she'll need more storage. She'll post the visualizations for everyone to see.
After she has stored the visualizations she will check the admin tool to make sure the users have access to it. The admin tool won't have the access logs stored in a format she can use to analyze it. So... she'll ask for some more storage to extract the logs.
And chances are if she asks you for the storage, she's going to need more data to put in the storage."
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